“What came first: The music or the misery?" (Or Dear, Cyndi)

“What came first: the music or the misery?" (Or Dear, Cyndi)

I didn’t mean to get sad, but I remember I was in the family car. We were coming home from grocery shopping and I was about 6 or 7... so it was about 1985. I was in pretty high spirits, probably because I had just gotten a candy bar (see that was the deal... if we were good and didn’t bug our parents while grocery shopping we got a candy bar at the checkout. I personally think that is why grocery stores keep the candy there) anyways, back on topic.

We were driving up Charlestown Road in Clarksville, Indiana when “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper came on the radio. I immediately zoned out, listened mesmerized, and then became incredibly sad. This is probably not normal behavior for a 6 year old, alas here I was drowning in sea of chiming guitars and soft-synths. I remember my mom asking me, “What’s wrong honey.”-- and I couldn’t answer at first. Finally, I was able to get out in a low, hushed, slightly tear abiding voice, “That song just made me really sad.”

Thus my fate was cast to the wind as far as I am concerned as I was already a fan of music; Ms. Lauper made me a music fan, an ever slight variation on theme. My dad, being DJ, had already solidified my love of music with the stacks of 45’s and records lying around. My parents used to let me put on headphones and plug me into the stereo much the same way parents sit their kids in front of the Disney Channel today. There is a very early picture of me floating around about age 4 where I am wearing a Snoopy: Joe Cool T-shirt and headphones. It’s pretty damn cute and I’ll have to find it.

The point of all this is that song affected me. My dad bought us (me) a copy from Shively Records in Louisville, because I kept asking for it. I remember that trip to Shively Records also yielded a copy of “Somewhere Out There” by Linda Rondstadt & James Ingram, because I was also throughly obsessed with An American Tail. But it was Cyndi Lauper that made an undeniable impression on me and probably my music taste to this day. I mean it doesn’t take many moves to get from Ms. Lauper to Lily Allen who I am equally obsessed with today. Her song “Chinese” off of It’s Not Me, It’s You gives me close to the same feeling as “Time After Time”.

The odd thing is that “Time After Time” really isn’t a sad song per se. Yet there is vulnerability in the vocal and lyrics that belie the theme and make me sad every time I hear I hear it. The lyrics want to be hopeful (“If you fall I will catch you/I will be waiting/Time after time”), but the idea of waiting for someone to fall and then perhaps fall again is both sad and beautiful; and obviously painted a picture of heartbreak for me long before I had any idea what heartbreak was.

The power of pop music is that I love Cyndi Lauper as much today as I did then for most, if not all, of the same reasons. “She Bop” makes me as happy as it did when I was 7 (even though I had no idea I was singing along to a song about female masturbation) and “True Colors” makes me sad (even though I had no idea it was about an abusive relationship... and long before I had been manipulated by Kodak commercials imploring me to “capture the moment”)

Some people would say the very statement that a song can make me feel the same way at age 7 or 30 is the reason pop music is as empty as that candy bar my parents gave me that night before Ms. Lauper filled my head with these crazy notions of melancholy, but the point of any music, or of any art for that matter, is to get an emotional response from a person on the other end. So perhaps people are right. Maybe “pop music” is bad for your soul, but I think something that can make you feel equally “bouncing-off-the-walls” happy and “dear-god-why-am-i-upset” sad is fascinating.

I mean I love “real music” too (whatever that means), but I am the most emotionally connected to four chord pop songs that go: verse/chorus/fade. I probably still spend too much time listening to music, but who cares. It’s one of the major things that gets me out of bed everyday. I mean I wake up everyday convinced I am going to hear a better song than I heard the day before and you know what... that logic has worked for me so far.

Luckily I got out of my “tumultuous teens & 20’s” when pop music "supposedly" matters most to a lot of people, but I still find myself drawn to pop music more than ever; and quite honestly, I find it a relief I that still find myself moved both happily and sadly by both songs new and old; even though I was told I would “grow out of it”.

I guess it all boils down to how you are programmed and we are all programmed differently. As John Cusak’s character Rob Gordon famously monologued in High Fidelity:

“People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?”

And that my friends is a good question. Of course, his character is only focusing on the sad songs which help share in our sadness. How many times, though, has your own personal “She Bop” or any other upbeat pop song brightened your day a bit?

Come on... how many times?